TPJ17 | Area of Concern vs Area of Responsibility | 3.19.23

The verse comes to mind, you know, pray without ceasing, I think, and I worry often without ceasing.And I can't do a single thing about all of that.But man, what if I spent that time praying to the God of the universe?

Welcome to the Prodigal Journey where we celebrate Christ's power through our weakness.And thank you for joining us on this episode.Welcome to another episode.I am your host, Ben, and on today's episode I have a guest co host joining me today, my wife Dawn.Hi, how are you today, Dawn?

I'm good.

Good.You know what I just realized that's one of the first times I think I've ever said my name at the beginning of an episode.Does that make me a bad host?

Probably, yes.

I always say it at the end in my email, but I think maybe only one episode I've ever actually said my name at the beginning.So I apologize, listeners, but before we jump into this episode, I want to talk to you about a new affiliate partner that we have.Upside.If you have never used this app before, you are definitely missing out.Upside provides you with a list of local gas stations, restaurants and grocery stores where you can get cash back.You can.You can earn up to 25 cents per gallon back on gas, up to 30% cash back on groceries, and up to 45% cash back at restaurants, depending on the areas you live in.Also, when you share your invite code with friends and family, anytime they claim an offer and fill up, you get $0.01 per gallon cash back every time they fill up.I just want to say, before I started using Upside, I was a little skeptical, but this is definitely the real deal.And during a time when gas prices are at some of the highest levels they've been, who doesn't want some cash back?So you just go into the app, select your gas station that has partnered with upside, upload your receipt, and within a few days you get your cash back.They have many ways you can redeem your cash back from gift cards to major retailers, or you can even get cash out to your bank account or PayPal.So you definitely want to go to our show notes.Click the link to sign up for upside and you can start earning cash back right away.But.But wait, there's more.I've always wanted to say that and now I can.

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And I was skeptical too.I was like, can I just fill up where I want to fill up?

Yeah.But now anytime you fill up, I get $0.01 per gallon back.So anytime we go anywhere, I have you use your account so we get that extra cash back.Yeah.It is legitimate for sure.My brother, I just talked to him earlier before we started recording, he's got like eighty, eighty to a hundred dollars sitting in his Upside account that he hasn't cashed out yet.

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So he likes to hold onto things.So.But yeah, he's racking up the money on Upside.

Yeah, I. I have like $10 and I should use it more, though.Cause I do travel for work and.But I. I am just the type person where I'm like, I'm just gonna drive until I'm out and then fill up wherever I'm at.And that's terrible.I probably should plan that out more.But yeah.

Cause then you might be by a gas station that's not a partner with Upside.So.Yeah, yeah.Especially if you travel a lot.This is definitely the perf you to save some money and get cash back into your pocket.All right, we just want to say thank you, Upside, for being a partner of this show.Now, before we dive into this episode, just a quick side note.We got through recording this whole episode once and we just decided to redo it because there was a lot of noise from the dogs and bones chewing and their paws pitter pattering on the floor.And then we were at the very end closing out the episode, and there was a knock on our door at the back door.And we went to the back door.Nobody was there.There was no car in the driveway.I walked around the house.There's nobody anywhere.So we're a little freaked out right now.Steve and Stacy are friends.If that was you.Nice joke.If that was you.But yeah, there was a knock at our door and nobody.So we're not sure what that was about, but we just decided to re record the episode.

Yes.So Upside, um, it is not a. Yeah.

Oh, goodness.All right, let's just jump right in.In this episode, we just want to talk about something that we have been learning a lot about lately.And we're going to talk about something called the area of concern and area of responsibility.Now, these are taken from Stephen Covey's book called the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.We'll be sure to put a link to it in the show Notes to Amazon for the book and Kindle versions, so make sure you check those out.This is just something my wife and I have been going through that's just been exposing our need to depend more on God.And some of those challenges are areas we are serving in our church, our jobs, friends and family, and just on a larger scale, just concerns about what's going on in the world today.So we've just been convicted about refocusing our time and energy into specific areas of importance.So the concept of area of concern and area of responsibility has been helpful for us as we kind of navigate through this in our lives.And we want to share that with you and some of the things we're learning.So let's just start by defining what these two areas are.Don, why don't you go ahead and start us off by defining area of concern?

Sure.So this would be something that indirectly affects us in some way that we don't have any control over.And some examples of that would be like the weather, politics, economy and things happening around the world, earthquakes, hurricanes.And so the way I like to think about this is in my area of concern, I am concerned about what the weather is going to be like today.You know, how do I need to dress, you know, do I need to bring an umbrella, raincoat, whatever?So that is a concern, but there's nothing that I can do about how the weather turns out.But yeah, the way I dress would be a area of responsibility, which is the other one.

Yes, correct.So area of responsibility would just be things that directly affect us and that we have influence over, such as family, work, hobbies, friends, people we might be investing our time in, or decisions we have to make about what we're going to wear because of the weather.

Right.

So let's talk a little bit about area of concern first.In what ways would you say you see the areas of concern play out in your own life?

So I think something that I struggle with in this particular talking about this topic is I will worry about things that I don't have any control over, but it bleeds into, like, an area of responsibility.So say I have a friend that is doing something that's concerning.So I will start thinking through, having a conversation with my friend, and I'll start thinking about, like, all the different ways that my friend could respond to me.And then I'll come up with like all these different scenarios and it's almost like a sickness.And so when we were prepping for this episode, I was talking to you about how sometimes I'll have these arguments with this imaginary person.And I started to say, like, I have them in my head, but I don't.Like, I, I'll just, I'll just be honest.Like sometimes I'm.I'm in my living room or whatever and I'm talking out loud, like going through this debate with someone I need to have a conversation with.And so where, you know, like an area of responsibility is confronting a friend in love.Right.And if, you know, they being prepared for their potential response.But like, the extent that I take it to is, is just an unhealthiness.It's.Yeah, it's a sickness.Well, I don't know if I have these fake debates.

You're just, you're just getting yourself prepared.

No, no, no, don't excuse it.Don't.

I mean, and this, this looks.Maybe this, you can identify with that as you're listening.Or maybe it, it plays itself out in a different area for you.When I think specifically in my own life and some of the things that prompted this episode that we wanted to talk about, for me, one of the ways it plays out, one of the two biggest ways I've seen it play out lately is in the area of the news.I just can't listen to the news because it has not been anything healthy for me.I would find myself listening all day to, like, podcasts at work about the news and things that were going on.And it just, oh man, it was so overwhelming and it just changed my whole demeanor.And I'm sure you could see some of that when I got home from work.

And yeah, actually, I think that's what prompted us to talk about this episode because we were talking through, you know, like, hey, what's going on?And we talked through that and then you, you said, you know, I, I just need to delete all my news apps because I'm just, I'm frustrated about things that I can't do anything about.

Yeah, for sure.And, and it's not to say that we shouldn't be aware of things that are going on, but it was like an all day thing for me.And it was just like, I can't handle this anymore.For one, there's nothing I can do about anything they're talking about.And you know, also, it's just.Yeah, it's outside of my control, and it's making my day worse.Like, I think I literally came home one Friday from work and said, we need to build a bunker in our backyard.

Yeah, that.

And I think that might have been what set off this episode.

That was kind of like red flag.Okay, what's going on?

Yeah.Yeah.That's when I knew there was a problem.And.Yeah, so that's probably the biggest way I've seen that play out lately.And then also, just another area that we had talked through was with my sister's ex husband.We did an interview with my sister at the end of last year, and right before we started recording, she decided to drop the bombshell that her ex husband was doing a podcast about how to treat people and treating people.Well, I better not say too many words.I don't want to give away what the podcast is and.Because that's not the point.The point being that it was consuming my thoughts and my energy to the point where I wanted to, like, send him an email or leave him some type of review to.Just because I felt that injustice and it was something that was completely outside of my control.

Yeah.Yeah.

So, yeah.So that's how it plays out in our lives.And lately that's what that's looked like for us.

Yeah.Yeah.Specifically lately.I mean, I'm sure, you know, though, there are other ways that, you know, could come to mind if we gave it enough time.

Yeah, for sure.But the overall thing being just that we do our best with an area of concern to try and prepare for every outcome.But scripture definitely does tell us that we.We have no way to know the future and be in control of these things.Why don't you go ahead and read those verses from Ecclesiastes that we have?Ecclesiastes, chapter 10.

Yeah.So this came to mind when we were thinking about the things that we do and then the outcomes that we don't have any control over.So.Ecclesiastes 10, verses 8 and 9, it says when you dig a well, you might fall in.When you demolish an old wall, you could be bitten by a snake.When you work in a quarry, stones might fall and crush you.Ecclesiastes is a really bright book in the Bible.When you chop wood, there is danger with each stroke of your ax.And then in verse 14, it says, no one really knows what is going to happen.No one can predict the future.And the point of that being like, you know, bad things happen.Bad things happen.Just, you know, feudalism, give up.I think it's for me actually.I like the book of Ecclesiastes.It frees me up to say, you know what?I have a responsibility to just do the next right thing and give the outcome to God.So I think the writer is just kind of going through a lot of dangers in the things that can happen.And I think it's important for us to realize that and, and kind of accept it because we don't have control over those areas of concern.Yeah, if I get bit by a snake, yeah, I'm concern about that.But I can't spend all of my time and energy and effort and mental energy putting thoughts towards things that I really don't have any control and influence over at the end of the day.

Yeah, for sure.And that's kind of what our goal is in this episode is just kind of walk through that in some ways that we can focus on the things we can control, which we'll get to here in a second.Why do you think we focus so much on the area of concern?

One reason I think is we want to eliminate suffering.We want to control the outcome and somehow we think that worrying about it will actually make it not happen.Or maybe, you know, maybe it's kind of like we're preparing ourselves for worst case scenario.But yeah, I think that's one of the reasons why we focus on it so much.

Yeah.I think as we were talking through these notes and stuff in the episode, I think you had, you had mentioned at one point we can build the sturdiest building, but we can't control if a storm comes through and wipes it into oblivion.So I thought that was really helpful in trying to understand this area of concern.

Like that sounds like something I would say.

Yeah.

Come come to me for, for more motivational advice.

Ah.And I feel like in our minds we think it's easier to.To focus on the area of concern because it's, it's easier for us to worry than it is for us to trust God with the outcome of a situation.

Yeah, it's the hard work of taking captive our thoughts rather than just kind of letting them play out to the, to the furthest extent.It's, it's really hard work to, to stop that same old, same old thought track that we get stuck on and to preach to ourselves rather than just kind of do what naturally comes to us, which is worry.

Yeah.And also along with that too is it's easier for us to focus on trying to fix others than ourselves.Because if I'm focused on what somebody else is Doing and their responses and trying to fix them.I don't have to come to grips with my own brokenness inside of me.

Right.Yeah.And do the hard work again of sanctification and processing through and going through my own mishaps and follow ups.Man, it's just.It's so much easier just to look over at somebody else and be like, you know, what are they doing?Versus coming to terms with our own self.

All right, now let's look at the area of responsibility as we think about this.I want to start with a couple verses here in Galatians 6, verses 4 and 5.It says, Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else.Verse 5 says, for we are each responsible for our own conduct.Now, this is specifically talking about kind of the area of our work inside that area of responsibility.But just seeing here that there is.There's a freedom that comes from only focusing on our areas of responsibility.And there's just a satisfaction from putting in the time and energy into the things that we do have influence over.And I think that's the importance of what he's trying to say here, because I. I feel like when we focus on the area of concern, we're focused more on what other people are doing and how they are responding, and it.It becomes a very reactive thing.Whereas if we're focused on the area of responsibility, we're focused more on what we ourselves are doing and how we are responding.So it's a very much more proactive response and more healthy, I think, in the end.Yeah, and some examples of this that we kind of were talking through from Scripture.We kind of were looking a little bit at Mary and Martha also the woman that was washing Jesus's feet at Simon's house.Let's kind of talk a little bit first about the Mary and Martha story.You know, sometimes I feel like we put a lot of effort into trying to relieve tension in passages of scripture that was not meant to be relieved.

Yeah, so Martha was concerned about Mary not helping her out, and Mary was sitting and listening to Jesus instead of helping Martha.It talks about Martha was distracted in what she was doing.And so I think, you know, I've heard this talked before, you know, in different areas.Like sometimes I feel like this verse is still self focused when someone discusses it as like a personality difference.Like Martha was more task oriented and Mary was more relationally oriented or something like that.And I think that that really takes away from the point that Jesus was trying to make.Martha, you are distracted.I don't know necessarily that he was getting onto her for preparing food because we all got to eat, right?

Yeah, for sure.

I could be wrong, but I think he was saying, you know, Martha, you're distracted about all this stuff that you have done when the most needful thing is to.To build a relationship with me, to.To.To be an intimate communion with me.

Yeah.And I think one of the questions that came to my mind as we were kind of reading through that passage was, you know, was this for Martha to be preparing the food at that time?Was that an area of concern or responsibility?And I don't think we're really given a clear picture, and I think that's the tension we were talking about.We don't really know for sure one way or the other.But I think, like you said, he's not probably correcting her about preparing the food, but he's challenging her focus and where her heart is.And I think, too, if you look at the.The passage, the other example with the woman washing Jesus's feet at Simon's house, you know, Jesus is also challenging Simon's focus as well.

Yeah.If you take those two stories and you compare them.So Jesus spoke into Martha doing things for him and being distracted, and Jesus spoke into Simon not doing things for Jesus.So it was like, you know, you didn't wash my feet.And she came and she's done nothing but wash my feet with her tears and dry them with her hair.And so again, I feel like the point of it is not really what we are or aren't doing, but where our focus is and what our responsibility is at that time.

Yeah, for sure.Because, you know, even in the Simon story, he was focused on, you know, he asked Jesus, do you know who this woman is?So he was more focused on.

Right.What she was doing, who she was.

And what she was doing instead of his response to God.

Yeah.

Good thing to think about in those two stories, the differences.And Jesus still challenges the same thing with both of them.Now, what do you think?Are.Are some challenges that we can face inside our area of responsibility.

So I think just staying in our area of responsibility, I think once we get.Once we start getting out of it, there's worry, there's fear and anxiety because again, it's all stuff that we can't control that we're trying to control.And I think that we struggle to put our effort into our area of responsibility because we fear God won't come through.I think as I get older, I'm not trying to make God more simple.I'm trying to make my faith more simple.I'll say, you know, is this next thing I'm getting ready to do, is this trusting God or not trusting God?Is this trusting myself or is this trusting God?Just to make it very simple in my mind.And it's easy for me to get into an area of concern.And, and because I don't trust God and I.And again, I think I mentioned this before, I think that worrying about it will.Will somehow change the outcome.

Yeah, that's good.Yeah.And I know for myself, I'm prone to worry and fear over those things.And yeah, I can definitely get out of control if I'm not careful.But also when I think about the area of responsibility alongside of the area of concern.So if you think of it like a circle, if you're familiar with these two things, if you picture a large circle and then a smaller circle inside, the smaller circle is the area of responsibility.The bigger circle outside of that is the area of concern.So I feel like we do face some of those challenges as well in the area of concern, but I think it's on a larger scale and it just intensifies it that much more.So that's something for us to think about as well.I think another challenge we kind of face in our area of responsibility is sometimes we can take something that is our responsibility and try to put it in the area of concern in order to shirk off our responsibility.And then we do that, and then we call it good.Boundaries.

Yeah, whenever we talk about boundaries, it always kind of.I get a little prickly because boundaries exist for us to honor God, not for us to honor ourselves.And so again, it's going back to the trust issue of who am I trusting, myself or God?And sometimes we're putting things that are our responsibility in area of concern because we're seeking our own comfort.We're not serving others that God has called us to serve.And he has called us to do things in His Word and because we don't trust him that he is enough, that he will comfort us in tough situations.Yeah, like you said, we, we.We shirk off our own.We shirk off the responsibility that he's called us to.

And, and that's just interesting to think about.Like, we focus on areas of concern and we put our time and energy into those things when we shouldn't be.And then we take something that is our responsibility and put it in the area of concern and then don't focus on the area of concern.Yeah, it can just become a vicious cycle for us.

Right?Yeah, we.We are depraved, aren't we?

Yes, that is for sure.So let's move on to some application as we think about closing this together.I mean, what does this look like for us to move forward?And you know, practically, how do we shift our focus from concern to responsibility and trying to think through some of that.And as you're maybe thinking about that and how you might answer that question, I do want to read a few other verses.These verses are coming from a passage in Matthew that's dealing more specifically with money and possessions.But I do think the application can have implications for us just as we think through living in our area of responsibility.We said earlier both areas do carry with it weight and worry, and it can be overwhelming.You know, it's just something to think about as we think about focusing more on our area of responsibility without adding to it that extra pressure from the area of concern.So these verses are from Matthew, chapter 6, starting with verse 25.It says, that is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life.Whether you have enough food and drink or enough clothes to wear.Isn't life more than food and your body more than clothing?Look at the birds.They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your Heavenly Father feeds them.And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are?Verse 27.Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?And why worry about your clothing?Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow.They don't work or make their clothing.Yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that they are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you.Why do you have so little faith?So don't worry about these things, saying what will we eat?What will we drink?What will we wear?These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers.But your Heavenly Father already knows all you, all your needs.Seek the kingdom of God above all else and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries.Today's trouble is enough for today.It's a lot of verses there, but I really like the application here as we think through this area of responsibility.I mean, what do you think are some ways we can apply this passage to our area of responsibility.

So, yeah, I mean, gosh, you were reading that.And I was thinking about all the things that I'm worried about right now, even.Even just in this moment, about trying to get, you know, I still got to do this and that.And.And again, I think that that's not a reaction to say, oh, well, throw your hands up and say, oh, well, I shouldn't, you know, just do any of this and just, you know, read my Bible or something like that.I think there's just a lot of tension there.I think that we have to walk through this with people that love us and say, hey, where.Where am I prone to fall into an area of concern and not take up an area of how can I ask you to hold me accountable to that?Or how do you think I need to be held accountable to that?I think a really great way to.And then also kind of discern where we are spending too much time in an area of concern is taking a quick inventory of where are we spending a lot of our time, our thoughts.What am I thinking about the most?And how am I thinking through that?The verse comes to mind, you know, pray without ceasing, I think, and I worry often without ceasing, and I can't do a single thing about all of that.But, man, what if I spent that time praying to the God of the universe?You know, I mean, I don't know that that would change anything because ultimately his will be done.But certainly it can change my response.It can.The stress that I have if I just turn it over to God.

Yeah.And I think that's one way where we have definitely tried the last few months to kind of change that around in applying this to our life.Because, I mean, even with some of the things we've been experiencing and working through, with just the areas of, you know, that we're serving at church and some of, you know, the things we've been going through there.We have.I would say our prayer life has definitely increased as we've been learning more through a lot of this.And, like, even this morning, we were out of eggs, so I had to run to the store to get some more things for breakfast.And I was like, on my way out the door, and you're like, can we pray?I was like, right now I was like, I'm going to get stuff at the store for breakfast.And you're like, yeah.And so, like, that was helpful for me, too, to just be like, okay, take a moment to stop and.Because in that moment, I'm sure there was some things going through your mind where you're like, I just need to stop and pray and not worry so much.

Yeah.

So I think the interesting thing here is that God doesn't want us to put so much time and energy into the area of concern.But even when we think about our areas of responsibility and these verses we just looked at, even in our area of responsibility, God is wanting us to trust Him.And I think that's the biggest takeaway, one of the biggest takeaways we can get from this application.You know, in these verses, you know, seek the kingdom of God, live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.And I think that's crucial because even in our area of responsibility, he's wanting us to let go and trust Him.I mean, you could argue even in our area of responsibility, there's things we can't really control.

Right.Yeah.

So I think that's helpful.And some other verses I was thinking of that I think we will close with and just kind of bringing this all together.If you want to read these verses here from Lamentations, chapter three.

Yeah.Verse 20, 21, 22, and 23.And.And I love this passage.It says, I will never forget this awful time as I grieve over my loss.And I think I'm just going to interject here, area of concern.It's always going to be a concern.Right.It's not like, oh, stop thinking about it.It says, I will never forget this awful time as I grieve over my loss.Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this.The faithful love of the Lord never ends.His mercies never cease.Great is his faithfulness.His mercies begin afresh each morning.Yes.

Love it.And that, I think that's an amazing way to close us out as we're thinking through what it looks like to live in our area of responsibility and to put more time and energy into those things, as well as just trusting God through the areas of responsibility and knowing that in those things, his mercies are new every morning and he's faithful.And that's an encouragement to us and something that's been helping us through these last couple of months, through some of the things we've been walking through.And so we hope it can be encouraging to you as well.If you want to reach out to us and let us know how this was helpful to you or maybe some of your struggles in those areas as well.We'd love to hear from you.So thanks for joining us today.Be sure to check out our links in the show notes for our affiliate partners and also if you'd like to contribute to the work we are doing, there's also links for ways to donate as well.So we will see you next time.

Bye.

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